Its been a long time since I've plastered my thoughts on the wonderful world wide web, but for a good reason.........keep posted in the near future as I embark on a journey to the country that I was born in. I will be seeing my aunt, whom I call "Mama", who I have not seen in 14 years....

Only Allah s.w.t. knows what is in store for me in the next 4-6 months...all I know is that I still have some ownership in my own future, and now is my opportunity to fully grasp my destiny with my fist, everything will fall in His hands.

To be continued.......

Peace outweighs

I absolutely loved my trip to Atlanta last month. Something about my relatives there and the city just brought me a sense of calm. GOD bless my fam down there for having opened their homes to us. I've spent many hours in the sun in their backyard just thinking about my life and how much being in ATL nullified my horrendous trip to Toronto.

I just have to mention one thing from my trip, seeing that I've been extremely emotional lately, I might as well share my experience.

I was staying with my uncles' family while in Toronto. I figured since I rarely see them and they are pretty much the only blood relative I have in Canada, I have to pay them a visit.

Now my uncle is known to be a "wadaad" and every phonecall/visit usually involved a 10-30 minutes lecture on wearing the hijab and being a better Muslim. Every time I spoke to him, it only stopped at that topic. "Inshallah, adheer, I will wear the hijab once I have settled my soul" But this visit, opened up a can of worms that unfortunately led me to vow never to visit again.

This is the internet and I will not bash my relatives, but I will say this: Talking down to your relatives about Islam, or any topic, will cause them to resent you AND whatever it is you're lecturing them about.

I am a Muslim first and foremost. Nothing will ever change that. My life is and will always be dedicated to Allah subhanahu waa ta'aalah. I know what my role is as a Muslim woman, daughter, sister and inshallah eventually a wife and mother. I may have made many many many mistakes in my lifetime, but we all know who we have to answer to at the end of all days. I believe in Peace and Sacrifice with all my heart and soul.

I took this picture above in Atlanta, in the backyard of my fam, and this is just a piece of the beauty I expressed and felt on my trip down there. I am grateful for who I have become, I am grateful for my family, I am eternally grateful for everything I was given and everything I can and will provide for others in my future. I wish only that some of my own family members can be grateful for the love in their lives, because once that love is lost, it will be impossible to regain it back.

Somali youth, a complete and UTTER failure. PERIOD.

I haven't posted anything for the past few weeks but only because I have gone through so many incidents that left me wondering about our own people.

I don't want to generalize, and I sure as hell don't want to trash our community but as more time passes, I realize how impossible it is to wipe out ignorance from the Somali community. No matter how hard we try as individuals, I think that our community is doomed as a group. Maybe you, and I individually, we can accomplish our own personal goals throughout our lives, but to connect with the rest of the community for the sake of our future, its damn near impossible.

I'm saying this after attending the 3rd Annual Somali Youth Conference from hell which took place yesterday in Ottawa. While there are children across the globe that are absolutely content with the two grains of rice a day plus rocks as a form of entertainment, we have here the most spoiled, UNDISCIPLINED, ignorant, unintelligent kids in our city with the lowest attention spans ever recorded.

I've forever been labeled as the eternal optimist, looking at life with a very rosy pair of glasses, but last night, my glasses were definately covered in soot, emitted from the essence of the Somali Youth.

Its funny, because inshallah someday I will become a teacher and after last night, my mother asked me "So......do you still want to be a teacher?"

My answer to that was HELL YES. The reason why I want to be a teacher is exactly this: learning and education, as cliche as it sounds, is the strongest weapon against many obstacles we face on a daily basis. The only difference is that, in my classroom, so help me ALLAH, I will be CONISISTENT which is something seriously lacking in our households.

Its like the parents dropped off their kids for babysitting service from 10am-6pm and all THREE of us had to handle over a hundred rude and abnoxious badasses.

All I can say is, thank GOD there was no media. I hated everything about this conference except for Professor Togane (of Montreal) who spoke with passion about being a Somali-Canadian. Having lived in North America for just over 40 years, the man knows alot on this topic.

You would think the kids would learn from the theme of night: Being a Somali-Canadian.

Hell nah, cuz they were busy tying their hijab's a little higher around their buns, making sure their gold belts were exactly the same shade of gold on their earrings and purse, or playing with their cell phones and talking back to adults when told to be quiet.

Where are the parents? ..................................Booking it away from the venue to get away from their dumbass kids for 8 hours.

Shame on them for not disciplining their children. Shame on every single kid that didn't benefit from this event.

Shame on our people for focusing on INSIGNIFICANT matters and overlooking the issues close to home.

Dang.

Next: My beef with condescending family members who talk down to you about religion. Get off your high horses people.

PACE MAGAZINE

Pace, Pace, Pace........I certainly have alot to say about this magazine but I'll be diplomatic about it.

I'm glad the new issue is out and about and I'm curious to hear how people feel about this particular issue so far. I can say this though, that from the feedback I've heard, not too many folks are so hot about the political spectrum the magazine decided to focus on. Yes its true that when it started off, it did so without any specific purpose, but alot of the folks I spoke too were glad to see an Urban magazine run by Somaliis. Some people sincerely believe that the magazine lost most of its credibility as soon as it got political on the masses b/c not many people know or even give a toss about the politics of Somalia/Somaliland/Puntland etc...let alone the political players, shakers and movers detailed in some of the articles.

Keep in mind though that I respect its concept, I respect all the changes its gone through and alot of the individuals involved in it are actually very talented, I just ask one question: Where did it all go wrong? More people now look at the pictures and don't bother to read the articles. Couple of the articles have already been posted in better known Somali websites, though remain unamed, featured a number of plaigarised writings.

SIDE NOTE I'm not trying to insinuate that they're plaigarised,just comparing the audiences (of PACE and of the other websites) but getting to the main question I'd like to ask those in charge, who exactly is the magazine catering to? Adults don't bother to read it because they feel that its aimed at young people and frankly they don't particularly care to read on vague newsstyle articles and much rather read quick blurbs on current news of Somalia/Somaliland. Young individuals lost interest in it (except for the photos) because most do not relate to the subject matter. (READ POST: THE GREAT DIVIDE)

I would like to add that the magazine itself is insightful, the articles are somewhat readable, and at times, it does capture the overall themes of the each issue. What I wish is to see the magazine discuss realistic issues, those more close to home (our own homes wherever we might be outside of the motherland) and more photo essay style articles and significantly more creative writing.

Our community houses an ocean size pool of talented writers, poets, debaters, photographers, and just plain ol' opinionists! We are all spread out all over this beautiful world and imagine the many different perspectives we have? A Somali in Atlanta and one living in Holland would sure be coming from two different worlds. I would like my fellow bloggers to step up and present a piece or two. I'm pretty sure if the host of this show was to let go of the mic long enough for someone else to speak, it would be a whole different story all together............

Cry for me Toronto...no really....cry

I'm in my uncles' kitchen looking outside the window gazing at the beautiful day thats presented outside, birds chirping, kids laughter echoing in the air, women laughing, blazing hot sun on my arms as I'm typing this........Somaliis....left.......right...........centre............next to me...........above me.............around me..............................

Mind you I hate this city with all my heart and soul. I twitch everytime I MUST come here (I love my uncle and his family to death) but hate every single weirdo in this city and for some reason, me and T Dot don't mix.....BUT looking at it today, it looks harmless, just a harmless city right? I should suck it up and face it..........Why do I get this feeling that I'll come back regretting ever stepping into this city?

Update to come tommorrow............

Where fear is present, wisdom cannot be

Okay so I'm sitting here watching the Tyra Banks show and today's show deals with a serious topic. I'm shocked that her guests even had the balls to fly to L.A. and actually sit on the stage to discuss the moral dillema that is crippling their existence. I have to admire those folks for facing their obstacles face on. Lord knows that amidst all the global catastrophies and the on going war against terrorism, regular everyday people such as her guests, are combating an internal war against the insurgents that stand in the way of living their lives normally. Those guests were minimized to tears and some even literally, were fearful of mentioning their troubles to Tyra and the audience.

Okay so you're probably wondering what the topic was right? Get ready for this one, its really disturbing, and if you're under the age of 18 I suggest you get a parent to supervise you at this point because no child should ever have to learn about this without the penalty of lifelong mental scars........................

Today's show as about.........................................................phobias.

Yes, phobias...the persistant fear of an object that would compel one to avoid it for the rest of their lives.

I mean, this is way beyond serious, the pictures below can atest to it. One guest was afraid of.... styrofoam.

and in order to get over her fear, Tyra took her to a styrofoam factory!!!!!! WOW I was singlehandedly convinced that the woman must be a superwoman seeing her being terroized by massive amounts of the enemy: the evil styrofoam.

Another guest was afraid of something that I'm sure millions (maybe billions) of us don't want to acknoledge its existence due to its disturbing appearance. The young woman would literally RUN across the street away from it in order to avoid it. What was she afraid of.......gnomes.




YES, maybe alot of us are in denial but we all know that these gnomes are capable of doing anything of the criminal capacity, like, sit on our front lawns day IN and day OUT just staring at us and probably spying on us to report back to our nations intelligence program as part of the Anti Terrorism Act. We treasure our illegal family members and we DO NOT condone anyone or anything to take away the rights of our brother (who is actually my mothers cousin' brother-in-law) whom we sponsored through my sister (who is actually my aunt)......


Finally, and this was the most excruciating of all, it was actually Tyra who chose to over come her phobia of................ Dolphins.



Look at it......is it.....................SNICKERING at me??????? This animal is clearly of the demonic species......I quite frankly think at this point of the show they should have warned the viewers otherwise I would have never gotten a headache from crying so much........Tyra has moved up on my list of phenomenal women........................

Drought? please, Starvation!Nothing a little dog food won't cure so get over it! CIVIL WAR?? isn't that like 1988????? KATRINA??????????????????????????? wtf??? are you STILL stuck on that?????????

CLEARLY people have bigger and more dire issues....clowns, styrofoam, gnomes, dolphin, pennies.......they can take over your lives, and I give a round of applause from the heart to those who face them on the daily basis yet STILL manage to live their lives just like anyone else. Oh woe to the world.....it is slowly falling apart one gnome at a time....

Survival of the Crow

I want to introduce Corneille to those who are not familiar with him. I first fell in love with the artist and the lyrics when I stumbled on a live performance on tv. First thought I had was "Damn....he's cute!" But not only that, he had a beautiful voice, amazing connection with the audience and the SMILE, one that showed him doing something he truly loves: speaking from his heart...........

Soon after I began listening to his songs and learning the lyrics (its a great way to learn French!!!!) and noticed that there must be a story behind his smile....Sure enough there is.....based on his story it shows that in the larger scheme of life, Allah swt has bigger plans for you, and no matter what you face in life, your Faith must not waiver and must stand above and beyond everything else in life. Without faith, you'll forever walk aimlessly throughout your life...........................read on.......

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Corneille scored a big hit with the French public following the release of his début album "Parce qu'on vient de loin" (a moving account of his personal experience in the Rwandan genocide). The singer, who recently became a Canadian citizen, continues to attract a wide following of fans thanks to his vocal talent and personal charisma.
Corneille Nyungura was born in the German town of Freiburg on 24 March 1977. His parents were living in Germany at the time completing their university studies. The family moved back to Rwanda while Corneille was still very young, however, and he spent his entire childhood there, getting in touch with his roots. Corneille developed a passion for music at an early age, listening to the giants of black American music such as Prince, Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder. Meanwhile, he also rifled through his parents' record collection, discovering old French 'chanson' classics by the likes of Brassens, Aznavour and Brel.
By his early teens Corneille had proved to be a budding singer and musician. In 1993, the talented 16-year-old ended up going into a studio in Kigali to record his first compositions. Shortly afterwards, he went on to triumph at the "Discovery" awards organised by Rwanda's national television. Corneille's fortunes appeared to be on the up and up, but a few months later tragedy struck. In April 1994, a bunch of soldiers broke into his house and massacred his entire family, slaughtering his Tutsi father, his Hutu mother and all his brothers and sisters. Corneille managed to survive the massacre by hiding behind the sofa, but he still bears the mental scars of this harrowing ordeal.
Following the killing of his family, Corneille fled to Zaire (the future Democratic Republic of Congo), joining the crowds of refugees in exodus on the roads and enduring several long, exhausting days of walking before reaching his destination. Once in Zaire, he managed to make contact with a German couple who had been close friends of his parents. They immediately offered to take him in and act as his adoptive family in Europe.
A New Life in Canada
In 1997, Corneille decided to venture further afield and try his luck in Canada. He moved to Montreal and began studying for a degree in communications. But he soon returned to his first love in life: music. Teaming up with two friends from Haiti, Corneille went on to set up his own R'n'B group, O.N.E. The band's career took off fairly quickly after they scored a big hit on the airwaves in Quebec with their single "Zoukin’." Before long, O.N.E. found themselves in major demand as a support act, playing concerts with leading stars such as Isabelle Boulay.
In 2001, Corneille decided to break away from the group and launch his own solo career. While he was working on material for his début album, he also wrote music and lyrics for "Ce soir" (a track which featured on the compilation "Cocktail R&B 2002") and "Si seulement on s’aimait" (which appeared on the album "Hip Hop Folies.") Meanwhile, Corneille also honed his skills on the live circuit, performing extensively in Quebec and then France where he caused a major stir at the "Francofolies" festival in La Rochelle in July 2002. In October of that same year, Dave Stewart (ex-half of The Eurythmics) invited the young Rwandan singer to perform at Le Réservoir in Paris. Corneille jumped at the chance – and all the more so, as it gave him the opportunity to get up on stage with one of his all-time idols, the reggae star Jimmy Cliff.
Corneille scored his first hit in France in 2002 with the single "Avec classe." Meanwhile back in Quebec, music fans discovered Corneille's début album "Parce qu’on vient de loin" (on which the singer spoke out about his personal history and the Rwandan genocide). The French public would have to wait until the following year for the album to appear in record stores. When it did, the first single release "Ensemble" rocketed to no.39 in the charts. But it was in 2004 that Corneille exploded on the French music scene. Two successive chart hits, "Parce qu'on vient de loin" and "Seul au monde", boosted sales of the album which rapidly topped the 300,000 mark. Meanwhile, Corneille found himself in great demand on the live circuit. He supported the American singer Cunnie Williams in concert in January 2003 and performed countless dates in France as a solo act. Meanwhile, he also recorded the song "Laissez-nous vivre" for the soundtrack of the French film "Taxi 3." Spokesman for the Red Cross
In February 2004, Corneille was nominated in two categories at the annual "Victoires de la musique" Awards. ("Best Newcomer of 2003" and "Best Album of 2003"). Between July and September of that year, the Rwandan singer hit the festival circuit with a vengeance, performing at countless events such as the Nice Jazz festival and the "Francofolies" in La Rochelle, Spa and Montreal. Corneille also gave a memorable performance in La Réunion (where Bernadette Chirac, wife of the French president had a front row seat).
In October 2004, Corneille brought the house down at Le Zénith in Paris on two successive nights. A few weeks later, he went into the studio to record a duet with Youssou N'Dour which featured on the fund-raising album "Dix ans ensemble," made by the collective "Ensemble contre le sida" (All Together Against AIDS). In November of that year, Corneille triumphed in Quebec, receiving a prestigious "Félix" award for "Best Male Artist of the Year." Meanwhile, at a special ceremony organised at La Citadelle in Quebec, Corneille became an official Canadian citizen.
Corneille currently combines his singing career with humanitarian work. He is a spokesperson for the Canadian Red Cross, campaigning on behalf of child soldiers used and abused in conflicts all the way from Sierra Leone and Colombia to Sri Lanka. He has not returned to Rwanda since the tragic events of 1994, but claims his greatest dream would be to organise a reconciliation concert in Kigali stadium one day.
Committed to humanitarian causes, Corneille went on to become an ambassador for Unicef, spearheading the organisation's "Unite for Children, Unite against AIDS" campaign. For the first time in almost ten years, the singer returned to Africa in March 2005 to perform at "Africa Live", a concert organised in Dakar by Youssou N’Dour to raise funds for malaria victims. Corneille later admitted that setting foot in Africa again had stirred a sea of emotion in him and made him want to pay tribute to the continent and its people. Second album
Corneille made a comeback on the recording front in November 2005 with the release of his second album, "Les marchands de rêves" (The Dream Sellers). The album, on which Corneille appeared to be more at peace with himself and his past, was intended as a message of hope to African youth, painting a more positive picture of their homeland. Unlike Corneille's first album, "Les marchands de rêves" was a much more acoustic affair with tracks composed around simple guitar and percussion, then filled out with African and Afro-American arrangements featuring n'dombolo, Afrobeat, zouk, reggae and soul. All compositions were overlaid with Corneille's soft, velvet vocals.
Lyrically speaking, women are omnipresent on the album on tracks such as "Dieu est une femme" (God is a Woman) and "Petite soeur" (Little Sister). Corneille also comes to terms with his past, paying tribute to his family, who were killed in the Rwandan genocide, on the particularly moving ballad "Reposez en paix" (Rest in Peace) and sharing his doubts and emotions on "Sur la tombe de mes gens" (On My People's Grave). Both lyrically and musically speaking, Corneille's second album confirms him as an increasingly interesting and mature talent.

Born With It

So is it an illness that alot of Somali guys lack the humility factor????? Could it be that all these years of babying, extreme nurturing, and excessive SPOILAGE (re: Locke on Property) is actually biting us in the you-kn0w-what???? We moved out of Somalia with nothing to our names, but somehow hooyo always managed to sneak a silver spoon for little Cabdi. Its odd, its like we've lived a parallel lives.......all these years we thought we were brothers and sisters, when in essence "they" are actually a new breed of species.......destined for........a string of failed marriages and a litter of children sprewn across the world.............

Are they born with it??? Or did we encourage their behaviours????? Lack of humility and too much pride..............well........................we all know what happened to Icarus

The Great Divide

Well this is my 2nd post, and I already have plenty to say!!!

Basically, I've been having several conversations with fellow Somaliis and getting their views on the phenomenon, or fixation with Somali Conciousness. It is part of my duty to defend my homeland with all sincerity and passion and there is no other culture or group of people that I would be as happy being part of than being Somali. That being said, I would like to point out that this "phenomenon" though with well intentions, is looking like the Louis Vuitton of the past few years. Its great that many of us woke up one day and realised that we have family back home that we need to give back to. However, our family back home have been living in the same state for almost two decades, nothing changed. I keep hearing kids and older folks that have many intentions of going back home after receiving their education and saved up some change, and try to bring miracles to the community that gave them their parents. One thing they don't realise is that just as our people back home are unfortunately facing endless obstacles and adversities we, in the diaspora, need to stop overlooking our OWN problems, and try to solve someone else's problems. I guess its in our nature to assume that we are in a good place so we might as well try to solve someone else's problems. I would like to dispell that, completely.

Why is that we turn a blind eye to issues like: alcoholism, crime, teenage pregnancy and promiscuity (including STD's) and school drop out???? Why is it that a culture that prides so much in posessing true followers of Islam and the Sunnah, do we bury our head 6ft deep into the sand?????????? One thing I've noticed and no one wants to realise is this: There is a HUGE divide between us in the diaspora and those living in the motherland. No matter how much we would like to deny it, a huge rift was created when we started our new lives in our new home countries and faced new problems such as housing, employment, education, and family support.

Basically this my rant and plea for everyone to start looking at our own problems before we can try to solve other people's problems. We naturally come together when disaster strikes, such as the dire situation of the drought that hit the Eastern countries of Africa and I recognize that each and every family does their own part by sending endless amounts back to our immediate and extended families back home. But, don't let the plight of others distract you from bettering yourselves.

Destination Unknown

"All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was"

Toni Morrison

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My first blog, my first post, my first attempt,my first....my first..................Many more will come forth in the future as I open a new chapter in the book of life. I'll keep you posted........